30 Days of Gratitude Challenge: Week 4
Thanksgiving is just around the corner and we're beginning our fourth and final week of the 30 Days of Gratitude Challenge.
How often have you heard someone tell you something they've done or tell you about something they've accomplished and add to it the disclaimer that it's not perfect.
"I made this, but you can see here where I messed up."
"I completed a big project at work, but I didn't include this, this, or this."
Maybe you're someone who has the "buts" running through your head, quietly in the background recounting every mistake and reminding you that perfection still eludes you.
Focus on the positive and you will find the positive. As with so much of our gratitude practice this step involves looking for the positive. Look for your own strengths. Do NOT include the "but" when you do. Look for the strengths in others too.
It's easy to find fault. It's harder to wade through every tiny mistake and find the strength, especially within ourselves, but it is the most powerful thing you can do. Acknowledging someone's strength encourages them to focus on building that strength and gives them the confidence to grow in other areas as well.
Here is a gentle reminder to you, my friends, don't forget to be as kind to yourself as you are to others. Treat yourself as you would a friend, treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Do not ignore your own strengths and do not forget to celebrate your own achievements without any "buts."
The act of putting your thanks into words and on paper is a really powerful thing. For many people the act of writing clarifies the ideas and thoughts that constantly shift and change in their minds. It helps you confront your thoughts and feelings. It allows you to name things that you may have never fully identified.
The first and most important part of this exercise is to identify WHO you want to write a note to and WHY you want to thank them.
Maybe it's someone you haven't spoken to in years.
Maybe it's someone you saw this morning.
Maybe you're thankful for the way someone helped you during a difficult time in your life.
Maybe you're thankful for the opportunity you had to grow as you helped someone else with a difficult time.
Maybe it's a big thank you. Maybe it's a tiny one.
It doesn't matter. Write it down. Send it if you can. It might make you uncomfortable to send. We are often uncomfortable expressing our feelings because we think it makes us weak or vulnerable (when in fact it makes us stronger!). What would you regret more: feeling a little uncomfortable while you bring someone joy, or never sharing that joy with them at all?
If you're looking for more positivity in your life, check out Brad Montague (co-creater of "Kid President" and creator of Socktober) on Facebook at the Montague Workshop, or in his new book Becoming Better Grownups: Rediscovering What Matters and Remembering How To Fly.
I wish it were. Some days it's so hard to be present in the moment. The to-do lists and projects left half finished can seep into your thoughts and pull a curtain over the present. The wishing things were different, hoping for something that will come later on, remembering the way things used to be, or, the worst offender, thinking about the way things should be can all blind us to the moment right in front of us.
Take a breath. Look around you. Don't see the floor that needs to be swept or vacuumed, don't see the notification on your phone calling you away to all the "shoulds" you think you should be doing. See what is in front of you.
I hate to bring the "M" word up again, but this is what meditation can be. Taking a breath, taking a moment, and making the choice to turn your mind away from what's pulling at it and onto what you want it to focus on. Making that choice is training your brain to do what you want it to do.
Own the moment, don't let the moment own you.
It's okay if you lose focus and have to remind yourself. That's what it means to practice. Keep bringing yourself back. It will get easier and easier. But you have to make the choice to practice. I promise, it feels so good when you are able put aside all the "shoulds" and focus on the moment you are in. Making the choice to be present now makes all of those "should-do" things easier to do later on.
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“Being thankful is not always experienced as a natural state of existence, we must work at it, akin to a type of strength training for the heart.” – Larissa Gomez
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